Powerful day for ceremony – New Moon AND New Year of the Dragon!

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Teresa Goetz

Ceremony is important to us in so many ways. Whether it’s a birthday celebration, a visit to church or synagogue, a holiday tradition, a Native American healing ceremony or a personal ceremony is our own homes. Today is both the new moon, a perfect time for great ceremony offerings to create and manifest our dreams, and also the day that ushers in the Chinese New Year: the year of the Dragon! I’m sending you over to my sacred lodge sister, Karen Chrappa’s blog site, A Structure for Spirit,  to participate in a virtual ceremony, based on the traditions of the Andean shamans of Peru.

http://astructureforspirit.wordpress.com/2012/01/22/planting-despacho-ceremony-now-open/
Ceremony anchors intentions and is easy to follow. The beautiful thing about the way Karen does ceremony, is it includes everyone in nearly every belief system. I believe that Spirit calls to us in its own way, in the words that speak personally to each of us. What works for me may not speak or work for you. So I like to send out information so people can be exposed to the different ways of experiencing and celebrating the Universe or Spirit.

A little bit about despacho: Karen explains more in her blog, but the overall idea is that a despacho is a ceremony that brings participants in alignment with their dreams and goals, while showing appreciation for the gifts we have. It is an offering and a prayer, a connection to the Divine within us, and the great Spirit as a whole. It also connects us in thanks to the earth, giving reciprocity for what we receive, making a divine exchange. It’s also beautiful and fun!

A little bit about the Year of the Dragon: While we in the west think of the dragon as a fiercely violent creature, in Chinese astrology, the Dragon is a divine and powerful beast, a deliverer of good fortune. To me, this makes doing ceremony on the day of both the new moon and Chinese New Year mighty powerful!

The passionate dragon is unafraid of challenge, is independent (sometimes to a fault, so be careful!). It is a year of optimism (woohoo!) This year is considered to be especially auspicious, as it is the year of the water Dragon, which happens only once every 60 years. So economically and personally, positive change is coming! People are talking about economic recovery, after the unstable year of the Rabbit.

So here’s to tapping into the full energy of the Year of the Dragon AND the New Moon. Set some intentions and believe in it. Give it a whirl…Would love to hear how you celebrated this day!

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Doctor Heal Thy Self – Sweat Your Prayers

Posted on January 13, 2012 by Teresa Goetz

Sometimes I need to listen to my own advice. Since the (overindulgent) holidays, I’ve been working my tail off, sitting at my desk. Because I now only see patients on Fridays,  the other days, I’m either coaching clients on the phone, or, I’m at my desk. Do you get that I’m sitting? A lot? Much time spent in my head, (and my heart and intuition, of course) but thinking, working, etc. I love what I do, and I love doing ALL of it. BUT, with the exception of a (sometimes short) walk every day, I’ve not left the house in days!

And yesterday, I hit a wall. I sat at my desk, and my brain turned to mush, unable to work. I just sat and stared, annoyed. Too fried to meditate, eyes bleary from staring at a computer screen. Too tired to exercise. And it hit me. From a Traditional Chinese Medicine (tcm) perspective, I realized what I’d been doing to myself (besides ignoring my own advice! – I can be a stubborn Capricorn – the goat who keeps walking up the mountain and working hard.)

In tcm, the way we diagnose a patient is to plug symptoms and tendencies into a different paradigm that is thousands of years old. And, it works. Seemingly disparate symptoms miraculously (often) fall splendidly into a cohesive diagnosis. So bear with me as I explain this particular situation, because it is one of the most common diagnoses in America. It’s the overwork, under-sleep, eat while we work (or eat poorly) and don’t get enough exercise diagnosis, aka “Liver Overacting on Spleen.”

So, the Liver meridian/organ system is responsible for the patency, or free flow, of “qi” in the body. The Spleen meridian/organ system, among other things, is taxed by excess mental work. It also is responsible for taking the food and drink we ingest, and turning it into qi and blood. Another job is has is to hold things in, like sweat. So, with the above scenario, you can see how we have the perfect set-up for both organ systems being taxed: overindulgence and over-thinking taxes the Spleen, and not moving our qi (which then gets bottled up), among other things, taxes the Liver.

We end up with “Liver Qi Stagnation.”  The Liver will then “overact” and “attack” the Spleen.  (trust me, it’s just how it works.) So, we’re irritable – because anger is the emotion associated with the Liver, and tired, unable to think because it went and attacked our Spleen system. Then you have a pissed-off, burned out and fatigued human being, unable to function.   (I’m also a little prone to hyperbole, but anyway.) Sound familiar?

The solution: MOVE YOUR QI! So, today, I took my favorite Zumba class! It’s a kick-butt, fun, non-stop sweat your prayers kind of class.  And sweat I did. So, I got to move my qi and move the fluids!  And guess what? Open for business again, feeling better than ever!

My recommendation if you start feeling “stuck” is to get some exercise. Go outside and walk, at the very least.  Exercise increases blood flow to the brain, so you think better, too. It has been proven that walking, especially outside, increases brain function, volume, and cognitive functions like memory and attention.

If you’re exhausted, (meaning you’ve abused yourself to the point of true exhaustion) don’t take a kick-butt zumba class (perhaps a restorative yoga class), rest and get good sleep, eat a balanced, healthy diet without much cheese, cold foods or carbs (which all tax the Spleen system).  When you’re feeling balanced, get some exercise. If you push yourself when you’re exhausted, you’ll only wear your body out. It’s a balance.

How do you decide whether your Liver is more stuck than your Spleen is tired? Pay attention to the way you feel.

- You know you’re stuck if:

  • You’re sighing a lot. (the Liver meridian runs over the flanks, so sighing stretches the diaphragm, which stimulates the Liver meridian – cool, right?
  • You’re getting really irritable and find yourself having angry outbursts or at least wanting to
  • You find yourself twisting and stretching a lot

- You know you’re exhausted or deficient if:

  • You’re tired!
  • You’re having poor digestion (gas, bloating, tired after you eat, etc)
  • You feel foggy headed – or have unclear thinking
  • Your body says sleep, not run

I think my next posting will be about why we often feel it’s ok to work too hard, but not to stop and take care of ourselves!

Until then, sweat your prayers on a mat, in a class or taking a walk. Sit when you need to sit, rest when you need to rest. It’s all about attention.

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A Little Inspiration

Posted on January 7, 2012 by Teresa Goetz

I don’t usually do these kinds of posts, but was so moved by the video I landed on, that I had to share…

Just when you think you CAN’T – Watch this!

Nothing else needs saying.

watch?v=jU4oA3kkAWU&sns=em

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New Year, New Story: Tips on How to Change Yours

Posted on January 5, 2012 by Teresa Goetz

We all have our own stories.  Have you ever heard yourself tell your personal story to someone else, almost as if you were talking about another person, like it was a script? You might have felt disconnected with the story (because you’ve told it so many times that even you’re bored with it).  Or, you might tell it with a lot of emotion, feeling over and over again how you were abandoned as a child. Then it hurts again, right? Guess what…here’s a little tough love: It doesn’t have to.

I’m here to tell you that you can change your story. Absolutely. No matter what happened to you when you were younger, or during your divorce, or now that you feel lonely.  You have a choice about how you’re going to look at it and what story you’re going to tell.

For a long time after my husband and I split up, I was a Victim. Capital V. I wore my scarlet V on my forehead, as a chip on my shoulder, and a weight on my back. “Look how I was hurt, abandoned, insulted, embarrassed…” the list went on and on, and I backed up my story with examples to anyone who would listen.

Ugh.

Then one day I heard myself telling my story to a dear friend who had listened to some version of it 100 times by now.  I watched her eyes glaze over, probably screaming inside, “Get over it!”  And I stopped. I was tired of hearing myself say it, let alone think it again. It was exhausting, painful and I was reliving the hurt over and over again. And each time it was reinforcing my belief that I was victimized.

So, I changed my story. I made a declaration to myself: no more playing the victim!  I did not want to be the kind of role model for my daughters, who, without her husband, is angry and unable to cope. Who IS that person?? I didn’t want it to be me. So, I took responsibility for my own part in the breakup of our marriage (that was not easy for me – it meant letting go of the abandonment, taking responsibility and not having the same story playing, which had become oddly comforting.)

So how are you going to rewrite YOUR story? It’s the only way out of the pain and suffering.  Here’s the crib sheet for changing your story:

Acknowledge your feelings – Burying them or using anger or lethargy to cover up the real feelings underneath only serves as a personal prison. Ask yourself: What am I really feeling? Honor it, know that it is a habitual response and then here’s an important step:
Surrender those feelings – I mean it. You don’t have to know how it’s going to change, just know it must, and you’ll figure it out as you go. Ask the Universe, Spirit, whatever you call your God to take it away. Ask for help. And then know it’s on its way in a form you will be on the lookout for. (There are ways to expedite this step that are too in depth to dive into here.)
Maintain self discipline – Catch yourself when you start to rehash your story, complain or blame. It’s a habit, and it takes time to change. Be gentle with yourself, but don’t stop until it feels more uncomfortable to tell the (old) story you’ve been telling, as opposed to the one you want to be living.
Write your new story – When you put pen to paper, your brain, soul and Spirit hear it differently and it’s stronger. Write how you would like your life to look. Be the author of the next part of your life. You’re in charge. Read it every day.
Fake it ‘til you make it – Seriously. It works. Start saying positive things about your ex, your boss, or whomever “hurt” you. Start spinning a new tale of power, balance and strength – who you really are deep inside.
Send love to the person who “hurt” you most. AAAhhh. Do I hear a scream? Yes, this is quite difficult, but it helps and it works. If you can see the other person first,  as part of this One we call our Universe – which means s/he is part of you, and secondly, as doing you a favor because you have something to learn in order to grow, it becomes easier.

If not now, when? Have courage to step into the unknown. I promise that you can wake up almost every morning doing the happy dance. Wanna dance?

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New Year, New You – A New Approach to New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on December 31, 2011 by Teresa Goetz

How many years have you written the same resolutions only to have to repeat the same resolution the next year? You’re not alone! Here’s a different approach to creating new year’s resolutions that is much more effective! I don’t believe that resolutions should be thrown out…I think they just need an image update! Resolutions are really just intentions, if done well.

Think about how most people approach resolutions.  A common example is: “I HAVE to lose weight. I’m so fat.” (who says you “have to?” – that builds in a defense mechanism that believe it or not, creates an internal conflict.) That person’s resolution might be: “I’m going to lose 20 pounds by X date,” while inside they’re quietly thinking, “you’re weak. You’re disgusting. You’re fat. Here we go AGAIN!” and things like that. Negative negative negative! Do you think that person actually believes they can do it? What would make them believe that this year would be any different from last year? The problem does not lie in the intention. The problem lies in the belief – in having faith that your goal can actually be accomplished.

Here’s my approach: Turn the resolution into an affirmation! Instead of saying “I want to lose 20 pounds,” how about, “I am so happy now that I make healthy choices in my life and I maintain the healthiest weight for me.” That is do-able! It doesn’t mean you can’t have a background goal of losing 20 pounds, which is admirable (if it’s actually healthy for you!) BUT, if your goal sits on top of an underlying belief that you are fat, weak, or even “gross” as I’ve heard some women say…guess what you AND the Universe will be conspiring together to create: more of what you think about and really believe…that you are fat!

As I always say, what you think about creates emotions. Those emotions induce actions. So, the way you think about your resolutions makes an enormous difference in their realization.

Write your affirmations, and put them by your bedside table. When you wake in the morning, first thing, before you even brush your teeth, say them out loud. Before going to bed, say them again. Set your intention for the day, (and to your sleeping self), that this is how you will carry out your day. Then, forget about it! Trust that you have made the commitment to live your intentions. This is loving yourself through an “inner gremlin” or dialogue called, “I”m not good enough” or some sort of negative self-talk that sabotages intentions all the time.

Here are a few more examples of resolutions that can be turned into affirmations (ps: notice how so many are also phrased in the future):

* “I’m so disorganized. I have to get rid of the chaos in my life!” becomes: “I’m so happy now that I live a balanced, organized and peaceful life.”
* “I’m going to start an exercise program” turns to: “I feel so good now that I’m exercising 5x/week!”
* “I’m quitting smoking!” can be: “I so enjoy the feeling of a smokeless body! I breathe easily, have a lot of energy, food tastes so good, and I even smell great!”

You get the idea!

Some Tips For Making Successful Affirmations:

Keep them:
1. In the present tense
2. Positively focused (flip the “I’m losing, quitting or no longer” to an “I”m so happy   now that…”)
3.  Small enough to be believable (making a million dollars in 3 months might be do-able, but probably not believable!)

Finally, to give affirmations an extra punch, try visualizing yourself achieving your goals. Feel what it feels like to have lost the weight and slide on your new jeans.  Imagine what a day is actually like when you move through it with ease. Feel the amount of energy and good health you have when you are a smokeless person. Smell the food, engage in cooking healthy meals. Really get into the fantasy and engage as many senses as possible in your visualizations.

And, it need only take a few minutes. Don’t let it be a time drain, just say it, experience it, know it to be true, and move on with your day.

Woohoo! Here’s to making these affirmations, or resolutions happen – no matter what you call them!

Blessings for 2012! May all your dreams come true!

 

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Winter Solstice and Letting Go

Posted on December 3, 2011 by Teresa Goetz

As we move from the shortest day of the year to days getting longer, we move into the holiday season. Winter, though a time of reflection, moves into high gear with a lot of moving parts, people coming and going — and often times, a lot of stress.  It’s an odd sort of conflict because energetically, the earth wants us to stay quiet, but our holidays want us to move around. We vacation, travel to parents and grandparents, dinner parties and events. It can be exhausting, though fun and exhilarating.

Winter Solstice instigates a change. The late dawns and early sunsets shift. Though the days slowly become longer and night’s shorter, we are quite strongly still in a “yin” time of year (with a little bit of “yang”). This mean it’s a naturally quiet, reflective time.  It’s also a great time to turn and look at our darkness within – the stuff we no longer want to hold on to, the stuff that no longer serves us (being angry at someone, habits that keep us stuck, negative thought patterns) and decide to let a few things go.

Here are two very simple and concrete exercises to help you progress through the holidays with equanimity and grace — and some growth thrown in for good measure!

For starters, I suggest you take at least 5 minutes every day for yourself.  That is my promise to myself as things get harried. I will spend at least 5 (more likely 15) minutes every morning, breathing, doing a little meditation, running through my “gratitude list” in my head. This sets the tone for my day. The days I forget to do it, I realize at about noon – when I see my day running me, instead of the other way around.

Another important thing to do at this transitional time of year, is to make conscious decisions about what you want to let go of, and why.  Transitions of any kind are loaded with energy, and what I love to do with clients is to help them repurpose that energy into something productive and growth oriented.

Exercise: Get a piece of paper and write down things that “bother” you about your life or yourself. Perhaps it’s some issue that keeps resurrecting itself or a person who annoys you. Really have at it. Let your inner-most, secret, dark thoughts come out. Write it all down until you feel complete.

Take a look at it.  At first, be objective. (“Isn’t that interesting” is one of my favorite lines to use when trying to be objective.) Just look at what you see on the page as if you were reading a stranger’s writing. What are your impressions? What have you learned about this person? Then, begin to wonder why you think they feel/do/think these things?

What questions might you ask them to help them lovingly let some things go?  Don’t be embarrassed or feel you should have “handled” that piece, or should be “over” another thought or feeling. This is the time to love yourself out of it. That’s right….love yourself – warts and all!  And, forgive yourself.

When we love and have compassion for ourselves, it’s easier to let things go. It’s easier to surrender than to white-knuckle change – which, of course, means you’re judging yourself. And the more you judge yourself, the more you strengthen the very thing you want to let go of!

A second part of this exercise is to write, in affirmation form, how you would rather live. For example, “I am jealous of rich people” can be transformed into “I know there is more than enough for everyone.” Surrender your jealousy, and ask the Universe to take it away. You don’t need to know how this is going to happen. You just need the intention, and the faith that it will happen.

Lastly, burn the paper (after you write your affirmations down!)  I call this a Phoenix Process. You are transmuting your wishes into another form of energy, and putting them into the Universe in their changed form.

So, invoke the power of the Winter Solstice to create dramatic change within yourself which will translate into your day to day life. Take a little time to give yourself the gift of a changed, growth-oriented and loving life. Today really is the first day of the rest of your life! Before you know it, you’ll find a little Spring in your step!

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The Flavors of Gratitude

Posted on November 29, 2011 by Teresa Goetz

Everyone is talking about gratitude this week, and I love that. But when I sat to write my post this week, I didn’t want to just rehash what everyone was saying. I wanted to come to gratitude from a different place, to really understand exactly what I believe gratitude to mean. Here’s what I’ve been pondering.

This unusual twist on gratitude has been tossing around in my head since before Thanksgiving. It feels like a ping pong game in there. It really has to do with altering how we perceive gratitude with a bunch of different feelings that seem to often go along with it. It’s Gratitude with Flavors.

Growing up in a Catholic home with 12 years of Catholic school under my belt, I heard a lot of phrases like, “How can you be such an ingrate?” or, “How dare you feel X. You should just be grateful you have a roof over your head.” Those comments always made me feel terrible about myself. I agreed that I wasn’t being truly grateful, and that I was, in fact, “bad” for not feeling gratitude. (Or maybe I just rolled my eyes…) I mean, how could I NOT eat what’s on my plate when children were starving elsewhere? (yes, I heard that.) But honestly, it was confusing. I was a certain flavor of grateful. Wasn’t I?

So, it seemed like being grateful was somehow tied up in being bad. As I look back on that, it seems to me like that bite of gratitude was coming from a place of lack and very tied to guilt. Is that gratitude or guilt? That is not the gratitude I’m talking about in my life, to my clients and students.

Another way I hear the word gratitude used comes from lack, as well. When we are in lack, gratitude can come from a place of fear. “I’m grateful because tomorrow, Lord knows, what might happen!” While that may be true, where is the focus? It’s on future fears, instead of present moment. If we fear we will lose what we have, we are not living with an abundant consciousness. (and thereby just attracting the very thing we fear!)

Have you ever called an elderly person, to ask how they were and you heard, “Well, I’m grateful I woke up this morning.” I’ve not been 78, but I pray that that won’t be how I feel when I wake in the morning at that age. I hope it will be a focused on love of the daily moments I get to experience (I’m sure peppered with some grumbling here and there.) So what does it mean to say you’re grateful you’re alive – not because you’re loving life, but because you’re not dead?

So, I’ve decided that true gratitude comes when you are really present. (Doesn’t it always come down to this?) When you can look at your past with dispassion, and acknowledge your growth, you can feel yummy grateful. When you look back and then worry that it might happen again is gratitude with the tang of worry and fear. And, it means you are not being present. Do you see where I’m going here? It’s not simply a matter of degree. It’s a matter of focus. Conscious, deliberate creating. And, while you sit in gratitude, the universe is preparing to give you more of that delicious gratitude you’re wallowing in.

If we are consciously aware of what is in our life that we are grateful for – not because it might be taken away, and not because we should feel guilty, but because our hearts and souls sing when we think about and feel it, then that, to me, is gratitude.

True gratitude feels good. It resonates with our entire being, and vibrates at a very high frequency.

I have so many things to be grateful for right here, right now, regardless of anything else. And THAT flavor of gratitude is delicious.

yummy people I'm grateful for

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Lessons in Feelings

Posted on November 16, 2011 by Teresa Goetz

I sit here in my house, dogs quietly sleeping by my feet (love when they’re quietly sleeping by my feet!) The rain is tapping a sort of sad melody to match my melancholy mood. I’m not prone to indulging myself in melancholy, but something happened today that brought me to this place. Having been a loyal Verizon customer for something like 15 years or more, I always kept saving my voice messages – some for as long as 10 years! I know quite a few people who have done that. My husband has his deceased father’s messages saved, as well.

I had very dear ones from my dear dad, who passed away several years ago – one from my birthday, and a couple after he was hospitalized. I have some from my girls when they were little – My favorites were one from when my oldest daughter landed her first acting gig on film (the excitement in her voice was something I listened to just to feel the love and her aliveness). There was one from my younger daughter when she discovered she could call my cell phone from a land line when we were in the same house, and leave me a message in her tiny voice saying, “I love you I love you I love you. You’re the best mommy in the whole world.” She’s now 18. I had messages from my husband from when we first met (we’ve been together nearly 5 years). I’ve loved having these messages…I listened to them occasionally when driving (on my bluetooth!) And now, they are gone.

I recently changed to an iphone – in order to sync my calendar, mostly (which, btw, doesn’t seem to be happening without several upgrades, etc.) What Verizon neglected to tell me what that they would wipe out my mailbox. I don’t know how they forgot this little tidbit, but here I am faced with this enormous loss. I feel like my dad is farther away, my kids suddenly grown up – that special sweet excitement in your new love’s voice — not to be heard again. There’s something about hearing a loved one’s voice that takes you back, warms your heart…and now it’s gone.

Where’s the lesson? I always look for the lesson. After a few tears, here it is: It’s ok to feel the loss, the sadness. I don’t always have to feel happy and in gratitude (which I do most of the time). Feeling loss is part of living. I will let it go, but for now, I feel kinda crappy…and that’s ok. I thankfully listened to those messages so many times that I have them memorized. I’m sure as I get older, I will lose the nuance of them, but guess what? I still have 3 of those people in the messages alive and in my life. I AM grateful. and I can also simultaneously feel sad for a bit….so that’s today’s lesson. Feeling one’s emotions is ok, and good! Letting them go afterward, is great. It’s all part of the human condition!

The trouble comes if we keep revisiting it. So I will monitor my feelings, check myself, acknowledge that it sucks, and move on to more important things. And continue to practice non-attachment!

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Is It Time to Change Your Personal Story?

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Teresa Goetz

We all do it. We all talk to ourselves, all the waking hours, and then we dream about the things we’ve talked about, thought about, and see. We are spending these hours with a so-called expert – and that “expert” is you!  Now, while I am a firm believer in discovering our own Inner Wisdom, if you have had a consistent issue that is not resolving itself, perhaps taking a fresh perspective is in order – instead of trying to “work it” on your own.  Those “Aha Moments” will come, once you let go, at least a little bit!

SO, how about approaching life from the perspective of wanting a clean story-slate?  What I mean is moving from identifying with the story we tell about our lives (and our woes) to finding a fresh perspective. Isn’t it time? If you’re not sure, here are a couple of questions to ask yourself, honestly:

  • Do I perseverate over certain things that annoy me? (in other words, do you obsessively think about things you can’t or won’t change)?
  • Do you hear yourself repeating the same complaint?
  • Do your friends’ eyes glaze over when you talk about “your issue?” (because you’ve said the same thing repeatedly)?
  • Is there someone in your life (home, friend, work) who gets under your skin? A lot?

There’s no judgment here! I’ve done all the above, myself! That’s how I know that we let our “stories” live us, all too often. So, here are some tips to “changing your personal story.”

  • Pay attention to your thoughts. This is huge. When you catch yourself worrying or thinking about the same issue, take a step back and look at it.  Thoughts have power and you are visualizing and setting intentions for things to remain exactly the same, if you keep thinking the same thoughts over and over again. Doesn’t that make sense?
  • Give yourself a choice: 1) I’m going to do something about this or 2) If I’m not going to do something about this, then I’m going to stop obsessively thinking about it. This is truly very empowering! It’s a “take charge” moment which will fuel your confidence. When you allow worries to eat up your energy, you are at the mercy of your story, instead of being in charge of your life.
  • Keep a journal! I know we’ve all heard this, but journaling about key issues can be very helpful. Keep it kind of freeform, letting your thoughts run without editing them. Then, after about a week, read what you’ve written. If you find yourself writing echos of the same things, it’s time to take change! This can be a very enlightening exercise.  The trick is not to edit as you write. Just write about what you’ve been thinking about, or what comes out naturally.
  • Pay attention to what others are doing when you’re “telling your story” (assuming you catch yourself, which I hope you will now)! If they’re not quite engaged, then you’ve told them a variation of this too many times. They’re trying to be a good friend, but what we all need at these moments is a little tough love.

So, I’m gently pushing you: how much of your story lives you, instead of you living your life? If you’ve answered Yes! to any of the questions above, then I think it’s time to do a little mental housekeeping.

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Gratitude Check: Your “Anti-Bummer” – Staying Present Tool.

Posted on October 20, 2011 by Teresa

The word gratitude is being thrown around a lot these days…and frankly, that makes me pretty happy.

Being in gratitude is the best solution to readjust your attitude when you’re feeling down, sorry for yourself, angry or even fearful. Making a gratitude list puts you in the vibration or field of abundance. It brings more things to be grateful for into your life by the law of attraction. The more you think about being grateful, the more your subconscious and the Universe think you want to be grateful and they bring it on! (Think of it this way. You’re at a party and meet two different people – one is angry and one is happy. Who would you rather spend time with?) And, you can’t be angry and be in gratitude. You can’t be sad, if you’re thinking about how nice it is to have such a good friend, a great partner or a loving pet.

We have become a society of ‘what’s next” and lose sight of where we are today, right now, this minute. Take a moment to reflect on that. Where are you right now? Are you in any immediate danger, this moment? Is anything really terrible happening to you right now? Snap your fingers and say “this moment.” Snap again, “this moment.” Keep going. The moments go by and each moment you realize you are here, and safe and really, just fine.
Are you thinking about the future? That means you’re not being present right here, right now, enjoying this moment of being alive. Because if you were, the future wouldn’t be the future, now would it? I’m not trying to pull an Abbott and Costello “Who’s on First” on you; I’m trying to make the point that if you are present, you will spend less time worrying about the future. Simple. Right? Simple, but it can be difficult if we don’t exercise that tool regularly.

What can you do about the future in this very moment? Not a heck of a lot. What does worrying about the future accomplish, besides high cortisol levels, anxiety and fast breathing? Most fears are completely unfounded, made up fantasies about worse case scenarios. You will waste SO much less energy staying present.

Instead of worrying about the future, or obsessively thinking about the past (which we all do at least from time to time), use the quick Gratitude Check to get you to ride out those other two negative and energy-wasting options of the past or future.

Now, I’m not telling you to stuff your feelings down. Acknowledge your feelings. But also know, they are just feelings (more on that in later posts.) And you are the one in control of them. Not the other way around.
The Gratitude Check is simple. Wherever you are, simply begin thinking or writing about every tiny thing you are grateful for. It can be your new fuzzy socks, the leaves changing colors, the meal you have in your belly. Keep it going as long as you possibly can. Watch a little smile spread across your face, feel your breathing slow and feel the sense of contentment win over the anxiety previously writhing within.

And here’s the best part: The more you focus on gratitude, the more you will have to be grateful for. There’s a phrase we use in coaching, “Fake it til you make it!” – Basically, even if you don’t feeeeelllll the gratitude, pretend you do – and you’ll start. Try to feel grateful for the most microscopic thing. Keep it going. Eventually, it will become your default tendency, instead of the thoughts about the past or worries about the future. The more you are present, and grateful…the happier you will be. Simple, right?

Practice. Trust me.

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