I had to write about love at Valentine’s day ~ But here’s the thing. My approach these days is that you can’t compartmentalize anything in your life…and so it is with love. So, here are 9 ways to bring love into all aspects of your life.  Some are pretty easy, some not so much. But give each a whirl and you’ll be surprised how good it feels at the end of the day (or month, or year). All of this is designed to help you and the person you are interacting with just experience more love. The more love you feel, the more love you attract. It’s just physics.

1.  Love a stranger.  What I mean by that is literally send love to a stranger. It could be the person sitting across from you on the train, or someone who walks by. Just have the thought that you want to send them some love, and see how good it feels. We ARE all connected, after all.
2. Walk into your next business meeting, networking or business event with the intention of giving. Have the first thing you say to someone be, “What can I do to help YOU?”  When you go with the intention of helping others, you find people a bit dazzled by your generosity. It feels good, and then maybe they’ll pay it forward.
3. Kiss your lover like it was your first kiss. Remember what it felt like to kiss your loved one for the first time. Hold their face in your hands, close your eyes and really feel the kiss.  Feel your bodies dissolve and your souls connect. Pretty yummy.
4. Lovingly look in the mirror. Yup. Take off all your clothes, stand in front of the mirror and only focus on the parts of you that you love – NOT the parts you think “need work.” Love all of you, but focus on what you believe, at this moment, to be perfect. Eventually, you will see that this body is just a vehicle for carrying around our perfect souls, and criticizing yourself only leads to lower self esteem. That broadcasts out into the world. When you put your clothes back on, walk outside and broadcast all the parts of you that you love. Eventually, that will be all of you.
5. Spend a few moments focusing on your heart chakra (the space in the middle of your chest) and breathe in and out love for someone. Really let that love wash over you. Send that person love. Spend a few moments really wallowing in that. Then, for a challenge, try sending some love to someone you’re angry at or have a grudge against. You might be surprised to find some of that melting. (Have I mentioned that we’re all connected?)
6. Pay it forward. Share someone’s stuff on social media (without thinking they are competition), hold open a door, pick up a friend’s kid from school, tip the waitress a little extra. Find ways to be of service.
7. Brag. I know we’re always taught to be humble, but how about if every day for the next week or two, you write down two or three things about yourself that you did that day that you feel really good about. Accumulate them and read them when you’re having a tough moment. Heck, read ‘em every day!
8. Wake up in gratitude. Just spend a few moments every morning before you get out of bed, imagining a field of gratitude surrounding you. Each time you think of something to be grateful for, the field gets bigger and bigger. This field is also something you broadcast out into the world. What you think, you get.
9. Love yourself first. And, as Byron Katie says, “love what is.” Be happy in this moment, in this life, for you are learning what you need to learn.

“Seeking love keeps you from the awareness that you already have it—that you are it.” Byron Katie

photo from brightboldblogspot.com

It has been a somewhat epic couple of months for me. Personal evolution – not always an easy thing – can come somewhat piecemeal. Growth can sneak in in stages, or via epiphanies and “aha moments”.  All the while we’re putting one magnificent shoe in front of the other (see last week’s blog), and one day, it all comes together. Often what people call “an overnight success” has really been a pretty long road of hard work. It is this moment when everything “clicks”, and the influences that get you there, that I want to write about.

My very wise actress daughter said to me yesterday that her acting teachers called this phenomenon the moment when opportunity and hard work meet – I think that’s the sweet spot of success beginning (however you define success).  I’m stepping into that moment, in a personal way, in my business.

As I was starting out on my new incarnation of healthybeing, I struggled to put together all the pieces of “who I am” as a business and what my divine gifts are. I have so much unusual, yet in-depth experience that I was a bit monkey-minded as to how to do that. One can have an explosion of ideas, like me, but as they say, “ideas are like opinions; everyone has them”. It’s the implementation of these ideas that makes the difference between something that stays in your head, and something that lands – and touches the lives of those you were supposed to touch.

Here are the women who recently touched my life to bring my divine purpose, ideas and unflinching desire to help and succeed – together.

Yesterday was the culmination of the influences I speak of. As it’s still vibrating around me, I thought I’d start there. One of my business mentors, Fabienne Fredrickson, of Client Attraction, chose me out of our group of 135 to have a business makeover, on stage, in front of the group. Working together, she guided me in clearing the gunk out of my thinking and zeroed in on next steps, clarifying my vision and helping me move forward – in order to do the business I was divinely put here to do.
Having business mentors who act with integrity, have an abundant mindset and walk their talk of doing business with honor and in alignment with their values, is paramount not just to success, but success with joy. All of those I surrounded myself are such people.

It was a profoundly abundant experience that I know will change me, and my business, forever. After all was said and done, with tears in her eyes, Fabienne held me by the hands, with tears in her eyes, and said, “A lot of women are counting on you to get out there. They need your help.” And in that moment, I realized everything had changed.

I also have to shout out Julie Steelman, whose classes have driven home the knowing that money is simply an exchange of energy. It is our divine birthright, as well, and asking for what one deserves is not only divine and holy, but appropriate. It is when we fail to shine our light that those we are divinely contracted to work with, can’t find us. It is with success that one can give back, and giving back is imperative, in my book. It is one of my big “whys.”

Lisa Steadman taught me to connect to my “woohoo” – aka, a fun way of finding my authentic business self. It’s all about being genuine, not being afraid of getting out there, and loving yourself with all of your magnificent quirks and unique abilities. What fun business can be!

Then there’s Tanya Ezekiel, who is a career coach with whom I went to coaching school. Tanya and I had a session together that put my old issues of “being worthy” into a new light. (see, we all have our gremlins, my friends! It is how we work with them that is important!) She made me realize that I can’t compartmentalize areas of my life and think they don’t bleed into each other. As they say, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” A motto I thought I was living by, but just as you can’t give yourself a good haircut, you need others to sometimes point out the obvious. I learned an invaluable lesson from just one session with Tanya that I am eternally grateful for.

Valia Glytsis, Leadership Development Coach and mentor, has been my compadre going down this road of conducting business with integrity, authenticity and responsibility. She has been a beacon of hope, inspiration, and wisdom.  She is the epitome of The Real Deal, with generosity and humility.  She, too, has opened my eyes to see things in a fresh light that allowed me to move more into who I truly am.

Carla Goddard, Shaman Medicine Woman and Iva Peele, Road to Q’eros – This is perhaps what started the big shift for me. Recently invited into this small Sacred Lodge of “We the Women” – a mostly virtual gathering of shamans, healers and priestesses, was Spirit’s way of pushing me into really owning my divine gifts and knowing how important the generosity model is. Sharing with other women like this, watching Carla encourage and help them to grow their businesses with Spirit in a way that will change the world, and then having the We the Women Community page open up to such wide acceptance and inspiration, was a most amazing experience. The women in this Lodge are some of the most quietly powerful, life changing, generous and loving women I have ever encountered, and I am humbled to share seats with them here.

Fabienne recently altered the dalai lama’s sentiment that the world will be changed by the western woman. She feels the world will be changed by the woman entrepreneur – and that is because doing business by the feminine model of combining strength, authenticity, truly caring about your clients, and being “generous” really may change the world!
She, along with Carla Goddard, Julie Steelman, Lisa Steadman, Tanya Ezekial, Valia Glytsis and all the other amazing women in my life helped me not just realize, but own, that doing business is a spiritual endeavor, and one that requires us to be in alignment with our core values…and with joy. I am indebted to these women I was clearly spiritually contracted to work with. With open, humble and grateful arms, I welcome those women whose spiritual contracts include working with me.

And so the ripple effect goes.

PS: I’ve included links to these fabulous women’s pages so that if you’re interested or inclined, you can check these life-changers out!

Ok, did I get your attention? What I mean is, have you ever considered that we might better succeed by NOT getting what we think we want?  That sounds counter intuitive to all the counsel I give about thinking positively, dreaming our dreams and writing affirmations – ALL of which are hugely important. But, I believe there’s another lesson to be learned by all of us. And, it’s not just that Spirit works in mysterious ways (which is true). It’s that sometimes we don’t listen to our intuition, our inner knowing. We block it out because we think our minds know better, when in reality, Spirit has a much bigger idea for us. Like BIG. REALLY big. And we think too small to be able to see it.

Sometimes the things that DON’T work out for us turn out to be the most serendipitous things! – not just for our personal growth, but for our true life’s destiny. A perfect personal example is my divorce. Don’t get me wrong. It was horrible at the time. I described it as being vulnerable to the point of feeling as if I had no skin. I experienced an internal heart pain the likes of which I thought I’d never recover from. My world was shattered.

It took awhile, but eventually I picked up the shattered pieces, and put my puzzle back together in a way that fit me more authentically, more comfortably. A comfier pair of shoes. More me…less me being what everyone else wanted, stuffing my feet into shoes that were too small.

I’d thought the part of me I’d previously caught mere flickers of was a bad thing, until I was forced out of my security blanket and into the raw world of reality: finding myself again. Bare-footed.

Spirit knew. I’d been chicken. Those flickers were the me who was shining her light and wanting out in a big way. And she wanted some big girl shoes!

And what a gift I got!

I have reinvented myself in a way that makes me proud, in a way that makes my daughters proud. I have discovered parts of myself I didn’t know existed (well, I pretended I didn’t know existed) and rediscovered the stuff I had buried deep down inside.  I now help other women rekindle, rediscover, and newly discover their wildly wonderful juicy way of living. I help them learn how to walk in their big girl shoes.  Whether they prefer red high heels or combat boots, it doesn’t matter. It’s whatever makes HER happy.

And, I am truly happier than I have ever been in my life. No kidding. The shoes are fitting quite nicely, thank you.

What I realized is that reinvention is really just taking the parts of yourself that are shattered or confused, and putting them in a different order, doctoring some up, then adding some spices you’ve never tried, and marinating until finding the perfect blend of the Divine You. It’s a recipe for exciting explorations of opportunities.  And it doesn’t hurt to be wearing shoes that fit YOU.  It’s somewhat on its own agenda. This one, you have to watch for.

Changing is a scary proposition…our sense of security is the most important thing in the world to us – even above love. So, jumping – and assuming the net will appear – can be terrifying. But, if you surround yourself with the best support, advice and coaching you can find, trust your knowing, and keep putting one magnificent shoe in front of the other, you really may end up in a wildly successful, delicious place – one you’d never imagined.
Trust me.

And, trust the flickering part of you…and Trust Spirit…Then, keep your eyes open for the perfect pair of shoes that fit you just right.

Ceremony is important to us in so many ways. Whether it’s a birthday celebration, a visit to church or synagogue, a holiday tradition, a Native American healing ceremony or a personal ceremony is our own homes. Today is both the new moon, a perfect time for great ceremony offerings to create and manifest our dreams, and also the day that ushers in the Chinese New Year: the year of the Dragon! I’m sending you over to my sacred lodge sister, Karen Chrappa’s blog site, A Structure for Spirit,  to participate in a virtual ceremony, based on the traditions of the Andean shamans of Peru.

http://astructureforspirit.wordpress.com/2012/01/22/planting-despacho-ceremony-now-open/
Ceremony anchors intentions and is easy to follow. The beautiful thing about the way Karen does ceremony, is it includes everyone in nearly every belief system. I believe that Spirit calls to us in its own way, in the words that speak personally to each of us. What works for me may not speak or work for you. So I like to send out information so people can be exposed to the different ways of experiencing and celebrating the Universe or Spirit.

A little bit about despacho: Karen explains more in her blog, but the overall idea is that a despacho is a ceremony that brings participants in alignment with their dreams and goals, while showing appreciation for the gifts we have. It is an offering and a prayer, a connection to the Divine within us, and the great Spirit as a whole. It also connects us in thanks to the earth, giving reciprocity for what we receive, making a divine exchange. It’s also beautiful and fun!

A little bit about the Year of the Dragon: While we in the west think of the dragon as a fiercely violent creature, in Chinese astrology, the Dragon is a divine and powerful beast, a deliverer of good fortune. To me, this makes doing ceremony on the day of both the new moon and Chinese New Year mighty powerful!

The passionate dragon is unafraid of challenge, is independent (sometimes to a fault, so be careful!). It is a year of optimism (woohoo!) This year is considered to be especially auspicious, as it is the year of the water Dragon, which happens only once every 60 years. So economically and personally, positive change is coming! People are talking about economic recovery, after the unstable year of the Rabbit.

So here’s to tapping into the full energy of the Year of the Dragon AND the New Moon. Set some intentions and believe in it. Give it a whirl…Would love to hear how you celebrated this day!

Sometimes I need to listen to my own advice. Since the (overindulgent) holidays, I’ve been working my tail off, sitting at my desk. Because I now only see patients on Fridays,  the other days, I’m either coaching clients on the phone, or, I’m at my desk. Do you get that I’m sitting? A lot? Much time spent in my head, (and my heart and intuition, of course) but thinking, working, etc. I love what I do, and I love doing ALL of it. BUT, with the exception of a (sometimes short) walk every day, I’ve not left the house in days!

And yesterday, I hit a wall. I sat at my desk, and my brain turned to mush, unable to work. I just sat and stared, annoyed. Too fried to meditate, eyes bleary from staring at a computer screen. Too tired to exercise. And it hit me. From a Traditional Chinese Medicine (tcm) perspective, I realized what I’d been doing to myself (besides ignoring my own advice! – I can be a stubborn Capricorn – the goat who keeps walking up the mountain and working hard.)

In tcm, the way we diagnose a patient is to plug symptoms and tendencies into a different paradigm that is thousands of years old. And, it works. Seemingly disparate symptoms miraculously (often) fall splendidly into a cohesive diagnosis. So bear with me as I explain this particular situation, because it is one of the most common diagnoses in America. It’s the overwork, under-sleep, eat while we work (or eat poorly) and don’t get enough exercise diagnosis, aka “Liver Overacting on Spleen.”

So, the Liver meridian/organ system is responsible for the patency, or free flow, of “qi” in the body. The Spleen meridian/organ system, among other things, is taxed by excess mental work. It also is responsible for taking the food and drink we ingest, and turning it into qi and blood. Another job is has is to hold things in, like sweat. So, with the above scenario, you can see how we have the perfect set-up for both organ systems being taxed: overindulgence and over-thinking taxes the Spleen, and not moving our qi (which then gets bottled up), among other things, taxes the Liver.

We end up with “Liver Qi Stagnation.”  The Liver will then “overact” and “attack” the Spleen.  (trust me, it’s just how it works.) So, we’re irritable – because anger is the emotion associated with the Liver, and tired, unable to think because it went and attacked our Spleen system. Then you have a pissed-off, burned out and fatigued human being, unable to function.   (I’m also a little prone to hyperbole, but anyway.) Sound familiar?

The solution: MOVE YOUR QI! So, today, I took my favorite Zumba class! It’s a kick-butt, fun, non-stop sweat your prayers kind of class.  And sweat I did. So, I got to move my qi and move the fluids!  And guess what? Open for business again, feeling better than ever!

My recommendation if you start feeling “stuck” is to get some exercise. Go outside and walk, at the very least.  Exercise increases blood flow to the brain, so you think better, too. It has been proven that walking, especially outside, increases brain function, volume, and cognitive functions like memory and attention.

If you’re exhausted, (meaning you’ve abused yourself to the point of true exhaustion) don’t take a kick-butt zumba class (perhaps a restorative yoga class), rest and get good sleep, eat a balanced, healthy diet without much cheese, cold foods or carbs (which all tax the Spleen system).  When you’re feeling balanced, get some exercise. If you push yourself when you’re exhausted, you’ll only wear your body out. It’s a balance.

How do you decide whether your Liver is more stuck than your Spleen is tired? Pay attention to the way you feel.

- You know you’re stuck if:

• You’re sighing a lot. (the Liver meridian runs over the flanks, so sighing stretches the diaphragm, which stimulates the Liver meridian – cool, right?
• You’re getting really irritable and find yourself having angry outbursts or at least wanting to
• You find yourself twisting and stretching a lot

- You know you’re exhausted or deficient if:

• You’re tired!
• You’re having poor digestion (gas, bloating, tired after you eat, etc)
• You feel foggy headed – or have unclear thinking
• Your body says sleep, not run

I think my next posting will be about why we often feel it’s ok to work too hard, but not to stop and take care of ourselves!

Until then, sweat your prayers on a mat, in a class or taking a walk. Sit when you need to sit, rest when you need to rest. It’s all about attention.

I don’t usually do these kinds of posts, but was so moved by the video I landed on, that I had to share…

Just when you think you CAN’T – Watch this!

Nothing else needs saying.

watch?v=jU4oA3kkAWU&sns=em

How many years have you written the same resolutions only to have to repeat the same resolution the next year? You’re not alone! Here’s a different approach to creating new year’s resolutions that is much more effective! I don’t believe that resolutions should be thrown out…I think they just need an image update! Resolutions are really just intentions, if done well.

Think about how most people approach resolutions.  A common example is: “I HAVE to lose weight. I’m so fat.” (who says you “have to?” – that builds in a defense mechanism that believe it or not, creates an internal conflict.) That person’s resolution might be: “I’m going to lose 20 pounds by X date,” while inside they’re quietly thinking, “you’re weak. You’re disgusting. You’re fat. Here we go AGAIN!” and things like that. Negative negative negative! Do you think that person actually believes they can do it? What would make them believe that this year would be any different from last year? The problem does not lie in the intention. The problem lies in the belief – in having faith that your goal can actually be accomplished.

Here’s my approach: Turn the resolution into an affirmation! Instead of saying “I want to lose 20 pounds,” how about, “I am so happy now that I make healthy choices in my life and I maintain the healthiest weight for me.” That is do-able! It doesn’t mean you can’t have a background goal of losing 20 pounds, which is admirable (if it’s actually healthy for you!) BUT, if your goal sits on top of an underlying belief that you are fat, weak, or even “gross” as I’ve heard some women say…guess what you AND the Universe will be conspiring together to create: more of what you think about and really believe…that you are fat!

As I always say, what you think about creates emotions. Those emotions induce actions. So, the way you think about your resolutions makes an enormous difference in their realization.

Write your affirmations, and put them by your bedside table. When you wake in the morning, first thing, before you even brush your teeth, say them out loud. Before going to bed, say them again. Set your intention for the day, (and to your sleeping self), that this is how you will carry out your day. Then, forget about it! Trust that you have made the commitment to live your intentions. This is loving yourself through an “inner gremlin” or dialogue called, “I”m not good enough” or some sort of negative self-talk that sabotages intentions all the time.

Here are a few more examples of resolutions that can be turned into affirmations (ps: notice how so many are also phrased in the future):

* “I’m so disorganized. I have to get rid of the chaos in my life!” becomes: “I’m so happy now that I live a balanced, organized and peaceful life.”
* “I’m going to start an exercise program” turns to: “I feel so good now that I’m exercising 5x/week!”
* “I’m quitting smoking!” can be: “I so enjoy the feeling of a smokeless body! I breathe easily, have a lot of energy, food tastes so good, and I even smell great!”

You get the idea!

Some Tips For Making Successful Affirmations:

Keep them:
1. In the present tense
2. Positively focused (flip the “I’m losing, quitting or no longer” to an “I”m so happy   now that…”)
3.  Small enough to be believable (making a million dollars in 3 months might be do-able, but probably not believable!)

Finally, to give affirmations an extra punch, try visualizing yourself achieving your goals. Feel what it feels like to have lost the weight and slide on your new jeans.  Imagine what a day is actually like when you move through it with ease. Feel the amount of energy and good health you have when you are a smokeless person. Smell the food, engage in cooking healthy meals. Really get into the fantasy and engage as many senses as possible in your visualizations.

And, it need only take a few minutes. Don’t let it be a time drain, just say it, experience it, know it to be true, and move on with your day.

Woohoo! Here’s to making these affirmations, or resolutions happen – no matter what you call them!

Blessings for 2012! May all your dreams come true!